Saturday, February 11, 2012

IS THE EGGPLANT A FRUIT OR A NUT (CASE)?

“The Eggplant That Ate Chicago” is a psychedelic jug band song about alien invasion by Dr. West's Medicine Show and Junk Band. Recently, a citizen of Liberty County told Liberty Dispatch that the weird imagination and the deceptive rhetorical efforts of Fresno Texas’ own Robert Valdez efforts to shape Liberty County politics remind him of the this song that is on “top fifty list of all-time weirdest songs.” Here are some of the lyrics:

For he may eat your city soon.

You'd better watch out for the eggplant that ate Chicago,

If he's still hungry, the whole country's doomed.

He came from outer space, lookin' for somethin' to eat.

He landed in Chicago. He thought Chicago was a treat.

(It was sweet, it was just like sugar)

You'd better watch out for the eggplant that ate Chicago,

For he may eat your city soon (wacka-do, wacka-do, wacka-do)

You'd better watch out for the eggplant that ate Chicago,

If he's still hungry, the whole country's doomed...


When asked what specifically about the song reminds them of what they have read by, or read about Robert Valdez, here was the reply:

“Well, while Valdez is obviously one of Sheriff Patterson’s biggest fans, there is not much else about him that will be remembered here after Liberty County votes in the April primary. It is like he and his buddy Fuddy and his amigo Eddie feel like they are some grand accomplished conquering special ops team invading Liberty County under cover of darkness and anonymity. When it is all said and done most people in this community will never have read one word of his blogging or have even a hint of all of his lame investigating, but right now he and his whacko friends are roaming around like they should be feared and like they have single-underhandedly made it clear to us all that Henry Patterson is the greatest sheriff in the universe.”

Voters in Liberty County may only know of Robert “Eggplant” Valdez because of reading about him on here. Unless his wacka-do world successfully twists the election in Liberty County, this article may be the only claim to fame he has in Liberty County to any kind of fame.

Good night “Eggplant”. Try to go to sleep even though you are excited someone mentioned your name again.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Quite a cast of characters Mr. henry has working for him. Larry,Curly, and Moe would have been better choices. While Mr. henry has not done the kind of job that gets a sheriff re-elected, he was doing better before they came on board.

Anonymous said...

I don't know henry to be a bad person but he is surrounded by some misguided eggplants.

Anonymous said...

all of your name calling ray and richard and whoever the hell else works with you .... it will not stop the re-election of the best sheriff liberty county has had in my lifetime.

Anonymous said...

Valdez looks just like an eggplant ROFL

Anonymous said...

An eggplant shaped with a wet back.

Anonymous said...

That little feller Patterson, he can sure eat some breakfast. Seems to be the only thing he's good at, his claim to fame.

Anonymous said...

If you people want to talk to Patterson, go to the Hot Biscuit in Cleveland, Texas and talk to him and his campaign adviser and under the table investigator Cliff William.

Anonymous said...

That Shirley Thomas who is running for Pct 2 republican chair, isn't that Cliff William's wife?

Anonymous said...

Due to the contining misconduct and threats of his supporters, Henry needs to start practicing the speech: ""We respect the decision of the voters. I, and all of my staff, will work together with the coming administration to achieve a smooth and orderly transition...""

Anonymous said...

is there any possibility that the above post meant 'continuing'? lol

Anonymous said...

I vote that it's "nut case."

Anonymous said...

Dont worry the light will soon shine. The weak will rise and the corrupt will fall. We are Anonymous. We are the 99%. Lets come together my sisters and brothers and reunite and take back what is ours.